The Church Account
I will try to update as many as I can but I assure you at least twice daily……
I received a call
Caller: are you Brother Collins Ajidara?
Caller: I am Pastor Maxwell speaking from ZOCA Church in Amuloko. You applied and did interview for the post of Church Accountant three months ago. I am glad to announce to that you report at the church office by 11am today.
Me: (Very excited) Yes sir. Thank you sir. (call ended)
I jubilated around the house because it had been a great relief to me. I had been at home for the past three months…. I quickly prepared to get to Amuloko. I called my parents to break the good news to them.
By 11 am I got to the place. I met with the Senior Pastor and he briefed me on my job and what I will be doing. I was given an en – suite office with all the necessary accessories….a complete system with internet connection. Not long that I settled down I heard a knock
Me: come in
The person came in and wow! I was speechless. She was of moderate height, chocolate in complexion and has a slim structure. She has a huge Weapon of Mass Defence in the front and a wonderful Weapon of Mass Destruction at the back. She was dressed in a skirt suit which covered most of the assets.
She: good morning brother. Welcome to ZOCA Church. My name is Sis. Iyoaye and I am in charge of the Church Bookshop.
Me: Thank you Mrs. Iyoaye. I am Collins Ajidara by name.
Sis Iyoaye: Please call me Sis. Iyoaye
Me: ok Sis. Iyoaye.
I was wowed at her structure because my adrenalin level has soared beyond 1000km/sec and I wished to grab her Weapon of Mass Defence and start sucking it at that spot. The intercom buzzed and brought me back to reality
Me: Hello Sir
The Pastor: Bro. Collins please come to my office immediately.
I told sis. Iyoaye that I will see her later. When I got to the Pastor’s office, I discovered that the church elders and other pastors are already seated.
Pastor Maxwell: Accountant, please have your seat.
I greeted everyone seated and I sat at the chair that has been reserved for me.
Pastor Maxwell: Bro. Collins, we are pleased to have you join us in this Church. I want to introduce the Church Board to you. He started the introduction and mentioned the names of every one seated. After the introduction he started to tell me the nature of operation of the church and the do’s and don’ts afterwards one of the Women (Deaconess Idowu Emeka) seated there said “Accountant, are you married?
Me: No ma. I replied.
Deaconess Emeka: do you have a fiancée?
Me: No ma. We just broke up two months ago.
Deaconess Emeka: But why?
I explained that we broke up due to blood group/genotype incompatibility.
Deaconess Emeka: Hope you will not impregnate all our girls here because bi mo n ti woju e yii, wa like obinrin gan (everyone burst into laughter)
Me: Mummy, no………… I promise I won’t (yinmu for my mind)
An Elderly man who has been quiet all the time suddenly asked me “if not for the person that recommended you, there are other more qualified candidates.
Me: I know sir
He continued: “so if I hear that you mess up with any sister in this church I will personally blacklist you. And nobody tampers with God’s money and go scot free o.
Me: I know sir and I am assuring you I won’t.
The meeting was closed and I returned to office. Some minutes later I heard a knock on the door.
Me: Please come in.
The person that came into my office was……. (Guess who)