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The Church Accountant (Episode 5)

Episode 5


After Aisha left, I called the Receptionist that I am not attending to anyone. And I started ruminating over my life…..what have I just done? Why did I have to do such even in the office? Why didn’t I take her home to just do it? As I was thinking about it an SMS entered my phone which reads: “meet me at the front of Campari fast – food joint at Iwo Road in the next 1 hour – Dcns. Emeka”

I tidied up my office, sprayed the air freshener and switched off the Air Conditioner, I called the Secretary that I have an urgent appointment at Iwo Rd and it will take me 2-3 hours.

When I got there, I saw her already waiting for me inside the fast – food joint and I sat beside her.

Me: Ma, it is quite scary for me to come and meet you here.

Dcns. Emeka: shhhh…. I wanted to talk with you (she placed her hands on my laps trying to rub it)

Me: (tried shifting away from her) ok ma I’m all ears

Dcns. Emeka: you have been avoiding me since when you resumed.

Me: No….. I am not running away from you ma. You know the nature of our work in the church office, not having time for other engagements.

Dcns. Emeka: I just want to know how you are faring. Take this envelope (she passed an envelope to me). Use it to do whatever you want to do.

Me: thank you ma.

Then I realized that it was about 50,000 Naira in the envelope

Dcns. Emeka: You know the project we are about to execute in the church and I want you to work towards it that I should be the one awarded the contract to. I promise that as soon as it has been awarded, I will settle you in cash and in other way round

Me: how will I help you ma?
Dcns. Emeka: the church board meeting will come up on Sunday and you and I will be there; and as you know, I can’t recommend myself. All the Board members have united themselves against me and their main instigator is Elder Barcanista. I want you to help me. Accountant use every possible means to convince Head Pastor.

Me: I am not assuring you but I will try.
Dcns. Emeka: Ok. I will be expecting a reply from you

thanks for following the story so far…

Later in the day, I called Elder Barcanista

Me: Hello Elder

Elder Barcanista: Hello my son.

Me: e ku ojo meta sir.

Elder Barcanista: hope there are no problems

Me: No sir. I want to know if the contractor for the job of constructing the school at Asejire along Ibadan – Ife Expressway has been selected.

Elder Barcanista: Hmm…. No

Me: but please sir, what about Dcns. Emeka?

Elder Barcanista: Lai-lai

Me: but why sir?

Elder: (breathes deeply) She is an ingrate. I worked a job for her some years back but after she finished the job she decided to start fighting with me that I am demanding too much.

Me: Daddy, I felt your pain sir. But can I make a proposition?

Elder: go ahead.

Me: Let’s scare her by telling her that she is not qualified. But I want us to give her the job. I will talk to her to “pay her dues”

Elder: Accountant, kini Dcns. fun e? (what did the Dcns. gave you?)

Me: nothing sir. I just felt that instead of us taking our food outside, let us cook and eat our food at home. I will encourage her to employ most of the youths in the church that are still looking for job so that as she benefits as a member of the Church Board, the youths in the church also should benefit from her.

Elder: Accountant, you spoke well. Let me call the Head Pastor so that I will convey the suggestion to the Head Pastor.

Me: Thank you sir.
Call ended.

Time flew to Sunday and after the service, the meeting commenced, but Dcns. Emeka was excused.

Head Pastor: I welcome you all to this meeting. As we all know, we are about building our model school at Asejire. We have received various proposals from different people for the project. Elder Barcanista suggested to me that we should give Dcns. Emeka the job but I feel otherwise.

So I want suggestions from other members of the Board.
Elder Garba: Why can’t we give it to Engineer David? Why is it that the project should go to Dcns. Emeka?

Dcns. Agwu: Engineer David is just less than 6 months in this church. You know our policy that we can’t give a job of such enormity to a church member that has not spent up to one year.

Deacon Oladunjoye: She is right Elder Garba. Engineer David is just a new member and according to records, he just joined a service unit less than 2 months ago.

Elder Garba: Lai-lai. I won’t agree that we should use Dcns. Emeka.
I sat there watching how the drama unfolds to a serious argument within the church board members. After the Head Pastor calmed everyone down, I stood up to talk

Me: Please I want you to be considerate. We all know Dcns. Emeka. She is a member of this church for the past 8years. I heard that even the last assignment she did for the church, she refunded the balance in the project money.

All except Me: WHAT

Me: When I reconciled all the accounts related to the project, I discovered that she actually refunded 8.7 million naira

Elder Garba: Allah YA KIYAYE!!!

Me: But the former accountant only declared 5million naira

EVERYONE INCLUDING PASTOR: CHIZOZZZZ!!!!! shockedshockedshocked
Me: so for anyone who did such project with open transparency and the structure still lasted time and again, is it not that person we are going to give the job to do again?

Deacon Oladunjoye: definitely she is the one we are going to give the job.
After much deliberations and review on the project sum, we called her to the meeting room:

Head Pastor: Dcns. Emeka, we have decided not to give you this job……………BUT on the other hand we had a rethink and even though you are a member of the church board, we have decided to award the project to you. The letter of award of contract will be given to you before Tuesday next week

Dcns. Emeka: (happy) Thank you Pastor and thank you the Church Board (she knelt down for everybody) and I promise you I will never fail but I will deliver.

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The Church Accountant (Episode 4)

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