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Tales of an undergraduate. Episode 61

That very evening after Lectures, my
friends came over to my hostel to relax
after a long day at school. Lectures had
become more intensed as our Head Of
Department (HOD) had tightened our
lecture timetable. We began to have
classes by 6:30 in the morning and
sometimes close for the day around 5
or maybe 6 in the evening.
I can still recall that very day, while
Doc. Esosa was lecturing us on
”introduction to International relations
11” something strange or lemme put it
this way, something crazy happened in
class…
Doc.Esosa was notably know as a very
strict lecturer, he was a no nonsense
man. Although he was very funny when
he talks but when it comes to a
thorough business like teaching, he
took it quiet seriously.
”I’m a very friendly person” he’d say
”I’m very jovial, I smile alot but don’t
take me for a fool. If you take me for a
fool, I will eat you up like a food. I love
to teach in a quiet, and a peaceful
environment. I must not hear any phone
ring in my class, not even a pin drop”.
Doc. Esosa should be in early 60’s,
about 5’7 feet tall. he was always on
jeans and long sleeves as if he was still
in his youth. He had few grey hair on
his head and beards. His classes kick
starts around 3pm and ends around
5pm. Whoever comes after 3, the
person wouldn’t be allowed to enter into
his class, but thankfully I wasn’t late so
I sat the middle of the lecture hall
where I could see and hear the lecturer
clearly.
”close both doors, no one should enter
into my class.. It’s 3:03pm. At least I
have tried” Doc.Esosa said putting on
his glasses. ”Those who aren’t in my
class today won’t enter into my book of
life. Let the lecture begin”.
Mayson sat beside me, but looking
around geographically, I couldn’t notice
the presence of Thompson.
Me: Mayson afa. Where Thompson
say?… You sure say Thompson enter
this class so. Thompson don dey miss
lectures too much now a days.
Mayson: Thompson dey o. Not quiet
long we go track one babe like that for
English department. We enter class
together. He go dey back dey chill.
I turned back to observe if Thompson
was really in class, and lo and behold,
Thompson was waving at me from
behind to signify his presence.
Me: I don see am. I be think say he don
run go house.
Mayson: he dear not. Doc. Esosa no
dey use attendance play o. After God,
Jesus, Holy spirit, my papa and mama,
na Doc.Esosa I fear pass o. No be lie.
Me: True talk. No be lie.
After about an hour of rigorous
teaching, I began to hear strange
vibrating sounds. It grew louder and
louder. It became more and more
intensed.
Mayson: who be that wey get phone for
class na. Doc. Esosa go vex o.
Me: I just tire o. Na person phone dey
sound like generator wey don pass him
life span.
Mayson: e go be chinko phone o. All
this yeye Chinese phone… Nonsense
There was murmuring amongst all the
students in class, as the entire class
was about to explode with small side
talks amongst themselves.
Doc Esosa: whose phone is vibrating in
my class. Who is that?… What
nonsense.
The vibrating noise didn’t stop, we than
decided to trace the sound, only to find
out that it was coming from the back
sit. Thompson sit to be precise.
Thompson laid his head on the table
snoring loudly.
Me: Thompson don Bleep up o. Which
kind guy be this one. Thompson don
fall my hand o. I swear,
The class all gazed at Thompson, as
his sit partner tapped him to wake.
Thompson woke up immediately. He
took his pen from his pocket and began
to write on his book. He cleaned the
saliva that was resting at the side of
his mouth with the back of his hand,
and he kept concentrating on whatever
he thought he was doing.
Doc.Esosa: boy. what do you think you
are doing?… Young man where did I
stop in my teaching?
Thompson: sir..
Doc.Esosa: don’t sir me… What did I
just say.
Thompson: Tramadol?
Doc.Esosa: you said?
Thompson: sir.
Doc.Esosa: class, is this boy okay?… Is
he my student?… Where’s the class
rep?
The class rep stood up from his sit, and
as usual he was putting on his over
sized blue suit and a very long fat silver
tie enough to pull a mans destiny down.
Class rep: he is our course mate sir
Doc.Esosa: are you sure?
Class rep: yes sir.
Doc.Esosa: is that how you make loud
noises when you sleep?… And you
don’t sleep when lecture is going. Class
Rep… Should I remove his name from
my book of lie?
Class rep: have mercy on him sir.
Doc.Esosa: Thank your stars. But for
today attendance, count yourself out. I
will cancel your name myself.
Doc.Esosa brought out his attendance
book aka book of life and cancelled
Thompson name.
Me: Thank God for our Jehovah witness
class rep. Doc.Esosa for finish
Thompson carrier.
Mayson: I been give Thompson
tramadol o. Na wetin dey Bleep am up
be that.

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Tales of an undergraduate. Episode 60
Tales of an undergraduate. Episode 62

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