My heart skipped twice on hearing the
five letter word ”TOOLZ”. I began to
prostrate on the floor, begging for
mercy. Although I wasn’t the cause of
this ”triggered” drama, but I was
absolutely scared for my life. I felt a
urine drop on my boxers, as I said the
Lords prayer. ”Father pls forgive me my
sins. I know say I don commit plenty
sins, but Abeg accept me for heaven,
when I get to heaven I promise to be a
good boy” I prayed silently, with tears
almost rolling down my eyes.
Smart didn’t feel the impact of the gun
threat. infact, they made him more
angrier. I could see him, running around
dramatically, searching for planks or
even a broken bottle. He was indeed a
warri boy. The scene had infact
escalated causing a lot of commotion
which eventually pulled a lot of crowd,
as students could be seen observing
and trying to see the outcome of the on
going incident. The girl who even
caused the whole palava, came begging
on our behalf.
The huge guy with deadlock went
straight to his 4matic Benz booth, and
brought out a locally made pistol. Well,
this wasn’t the first time, I had seen a
hot pistol pointing at me, I was used to
it, but I prayed that these encounters
shouldn’t result to the end of my life.
On seeing the guy with the pistol, Smart
immediately ran back to the scene,
holding a long branch of a tree with
Smart: so una wan shoot me abi. There
no born una well. For this town, I be
Akpos o. No try me
Guy1: you dey mad, you no fear
pistol… Where you for bam? You be rat
for where I dey o. I go mash you
anyhow like beans.
Smart: them no born you well. Your
Guy2: them no give this guy OT before
he enter this town?
Me: bros, abeg no vex. My guy don too
high today abeg.
Guy1: na why your guy con dey miss
Me: I promise he won’t do it again.
Smart: this guys no know say my P-
man na Army. My P-man na retired
general o. Your mate dey bring Ak 47,
you dey bring locally made gun.
Shoooo!!! You dey mad o?
On hearing, ”My P-man na retired
general”, the brosses, took a few step
back, without saying a word, signalled
themselves, entered into the vehicle,
kicked start it and zoomed off. It was
like a miracle. Smart had just overcome
those strong men. The truth of the
matter is, Smart father wasn’t a retired
general in the army, he was a teacher in
a public school. Indeed Smart was
”Smart”. No wonder he was called
smart. I breathe a sign of relieve as we
went home, watching our backs every
Well, that incident happened in my 2nd
year in school and I can’t just forget
On seeing my goons, Mayson,
Thompson and Smart operating their
laptops, chatting with their clients
online, I hurriedly went into ”maysons”
kitchen, dished myself enough Rice and
Meat stew and I joined them in the
room, while they operated their system.
Me: Mayson, you don bill una client?
Mayson: noo, everywhere zaba
(meaning, no show)
Me: Thompson what’s up. Hope
everywhere good for yourside?
Thompson: my client dey respond well,
na remain to bill o.
Smart: oboy, Temy, I be dey think say
na whitey I dey follow yan, I never knew
I was chatting with my fellow Nigerian.
Nigerians don too cast Facebook.
Me: no be una dey cast am.
Thompson: remember when we dey use
2go take dey collect recharge card that
year. He don tey o
Mayson: una go change una gender to
female. Bad guys
While we were discussing issues,
relating to ”hustling”, we heard a huge
bang on the door. ”BANG BANG BANG
BANG” In fact, It became more louder
with every knock.
Mayson: make una quiet.
The rice I was eating shocked my throat
as it got stocked, I couldn’t breathe and
I couldn’t cough because if I coughed,
who ever was at the door would hear
us. I started sweating and tears where
running down my eyes in no time.
Smart: Mayson go check who dey the
Mayson: you go check who dey the
door, you no get leg?
Smart: Mayson you can fear. You and
Temy una be the same thing.
Smart slowly tiptoed to the curtain side
and peeped through the window.
Smart: ooh boy! Na police o
To be continued.
My heart skipped twice on hearing the