Just want to sleep Lizzy. I want to sleep so that my head can stop spinning” Jessica swallowed, not willing to cry. Lizzy looked at her critically and decided to wait till the next day before she found out what really happened.
“OK. Come and get rid of this cloth. Did I mention that you are looking very sexy in this dress?” Lizzy said, trying to make Jessica smile a bit but when Jessica fought back tears instead of smiling, she knew that something was terribly wrong with her and all her instincts pointed at Andy.
Jessica lay on Lizzy’s bed feeling shattered. Her life just seemed to go from one point of disaster to the other. She wondered why this occurrence seemed to be more painful, compared to the other problems that she had had to face in her life. Her head ached terrifyingly and she groaned. Tears kept coming and coming. She had been able to maintain a ‘no crying’ stance for a long time but in just one night, she had cried immensely. The tears came but she had no strength to wipe it off.
She had surrendered her most precious gift to Andy, something that she had treasured, something that she had refused to give her past lovers. Thinking of how everything had shattered was so alarming. Everything had been a charade. Just a surface charade to get past her pants. But even though Jessica wanted to make herself believe that it had also been a charade for her and that she did not have feelings for Andy, she knew that it was a lie. Andy had been part of her every thought ever since she met him, which was one of the reasons why she detested him. She had detested him for the mere fact that he was a man and had used her hate or dislike to her advantage but his late nights always got to her, terribly. She always found herself wondering what he was doing and with whom. He almost did not notice her and it hurt her feminine ego. Dressing differently yesterday had almost nothing to do with Andy’s father, but had everything to do with Andy; she had only used her father-in-law as an excuse. When she had gone to bed with him, it hadn’t been because she was married to him, it was because she really wanted to give him that gift. She had wanted him to have it, but now, it turned out to be the worst mistake she ever made. Why did she always have to develop feelings for the wrong people? Why was life so unfair? Why did she have to cry over and over again?
Lizzy entered with a plate of hot rice and stew and Jessica quickly wiped her face but Lizzy did not miss it. Lizzy was now terribly worried. She could not pinpoint ever seeing Jessica cry. She noticed that the hot tea she had given to Jessica earlier was barely touched.
“Jessie, please tell me what is wrong? You are scaring me o” Lizzy said as she sat on the bed.
Jessie smiled faintly and intentionally digressed. “Are you not sleeping yet?”
“You look famished so I decided to fix you something. Come on, get up”
Jessie shook her head slowly. “I am not sure I can take anything”
“You don’t have to be sure; just try. You would feel better after eating”
“I am not sure if I would be better Liz” Jessie blinked severally.
Lizzy was touched deeply, seeing Jessie struggle with threatening tears. She dropped the food. “You can cry Jessie, it eases the pain. Come here” she pulled Jessie into her arms and Jessica could not hold back her tears any longer. She cried her heart out.
“I just want to die Lizzy…” she cried. “I want to die… Life is worthless”
“Oh sweetie” Lizzy breathed almost moved to tears by Jessica’s pain. It was now that Lizzy wished that Paulina was there. Paulina would have used her motherly attitude to handle this situation. It was obvious to Lizzy that Andy and Sonia were involved in whatever was wrong but she also had a feeling that Jessica had developed feelings for Andy. She knew a woman in love when she saw one.
Andy felt like he was going crazy. He stood up from the bed and sat on the small chair in the room. This was the third time he was standing up from the bed after fruitlessly trying to sleep. He had been terribly devastated ever since he dropped off Jessica. He still could not believe that it had all happened so fast. Despite being hungry, he had lost his appetite but his thought that his anger would go down as time went by was totally wrong because, with each passing minute, his frustration increased a notch. Sleeping on the bed was the worst part of it all. He kept remembering all that he and Jessie had done and shared on the bed; their intimacy, laughter, jokes, emotional tears and even their breakfast. The masters’ bedroom held far too many memories, all derived from one day, but the joy and fulfillment he felt within twenty four hours had evaporated just like that.
He could not bear to think of the look of betrayal and hurt he saw in her eyes. He sighed and stood up. If he had been told years back that one day, he would care about the feelings of a woman; he would have laughed the person to scorn. But here he was, unable to sleep because of a woman. He had only been in love once in his life but the experience was too traumatic.
He checked the time on the wall clock as he entered the sitting room and noticed it was some minutes to three. He had expected that it would be around five or something like that. He sighed and switched on the TV, collapsing on the chair, hoping beyond hope that he would be able to focus on the TV.
To be continued…