Life of a fucker. Episode 51.

She just stood there looking so elegant.

The pregnancy removed nothing from

her beauty, it rather added a sort of

sexy appeal to her radiant skin and

made her saucy. Chinaza was just on

fleek as she stood at my door that day

but then, I would have loved to have me

some Chinecherem.

She gave Chinecherem that look she

normally gives me each time she gives

me a head and I refuse to return the

favor. Very deadly look.

“Who is she?” she asked, it was actually

her first word on entering my room. Her

eyes was roving from Chinecherem to

me.

“Aunty don’t you remember me?”

Chinecherem asked. I assumed the

Aunty calmed her. She sized her up

again and shook her head.

“She is shape’s sister,” I added.

“Who is shape?” Chinaza asked, facing

me.

“Who else do you know that I know that

has the potentials to be called shape?”

“Oh okay, Chinaza? You are

Chinecherem right?” she asked, facing

her. She nodded and that ended it. I

don’t think it stopped her from

suspecting that I may have an extra

friendly business with her.

Chinaza walked up to me on the bed

and made a sit out of my laps. I didn’t

mind cos her ass was all soft and cosy

only that she developed a little bit of

weight.

James was already colonizing

Chinecherem with immediate alacrity

and I was just fuming. Chinaza doesn’t

know when she is needed. I would have

told her but I doubt if was a good idea.

But then, whatever, Chinaza even looked

better than her, I am not hating shaa.

But then, there is something about all

these new Secondary school graduates

that adds the veins to my preek.

Shaa shaa, things fell into place,

slowly. Chinaza in my arms complaining

endlessly about waist pain and wanting

to go out and relax. James sweet

talking Chinecherem and she looking

endlessly at me and Chinaza.

Something was telling me that she

envied Chinaza’s position and may want

to make a switch and I would have

loved that. At least, her maths tutorial

didn’t seem like it would happen which

was better for me, I had lost touch with

the mathematical side of me and James

love for mathematics was inversely

proportional with my love for fine girls.

“Did you cook?” Shape asked and

Chinecherem scoffed. Even Chinaza

was smiling mischievously. She

obviously knew that cooking for me

was next to reading my books without

any upcoming exam or quiz in my list

of impossibility.

“I’m hungry,” she said after getting that

Bleep you look from me.

“What do you want to eat?” I asked,

rubbing at her tummy and having her

smile up at me.

“Food.”

“Lemme buy indomie,” I said, trying to

move her away from me. She refused

and shook her head.

“What is indomie, is that what the baby

will use and be Strong?”

“What do you want naa?”

“Take me out,” she snapped and my

head cracked like a coconut.

“I know a restaurant around here that

sells cheap and interesting food,”

Chinecherem Chipped in.

“Yes, and they have the right food for

pregnant women,” James supplemented

her. I shot them two live bullets with

my eyes and frowned. Chinecherem was

smiling sheepishly, I wondered what

gave that small girl the right to talk

among men. James was giving me that

his wicked grin. I hissed.

“When married men are talking,

bachelors and spinsters should mind

their business,” I said and everyone

laughed, except me, it was my Pocket

money that they are trying to divide into

three after all.

“Baby please,” Chinaza begged with a

look that would make you buy her the

whole of Mr Biggs but then, I don’t even

have the money to buy her a mama put.

“I don’t have money,” I begged back.

She didn’t believe me.

Baby, please,” she continued.

“I don’t have money,” I repeated.

“Please.”

“Money.”

“So I and the baby should remain

hungry naa,” she snapped.

“But I offered to cook indomie.”

“It’s not good for the baby abeg, he

needs solid food.”

“Is the baby complaining?” I asked. She

eyed me angrily, I don’t know if she

was serious with the anger or she was

just pretending but she was still lying

on my body so I assumed the anger

wasn’t serious.

“Maybe we should go to the woman

outside the gate, she even have 100

naira a plate food,” Chinecherem

continued with her suggestions while

Naza kept nodding.

“100 naira food won’t do us naa,”

James added and Chinaza nodded

again.

“We? as in, who are the we?” I asked,

gathering as many frowns as my face

would allow me.

“Us, all of us. We are hungry too,”

Chinecherem answered.

“Do you see any breast on me?” I asked

and she shook her head, a good deal of

confusion registered on her beautiful

face.

“Why do you ask?” she asked me.

“Well, is like you are mistaking me for

your mother.”

Again, everyone laughed except me.

Then like a storm, Shape breezed in,

dragging her ass in and Willie behind

her ass.

“Hey, the latest couple in town,

Welcome,” Chinecherem clapped.

Everyone kept quiet and turned to her.

The surprise was on everyone’s face.

“Ar ar, I know these two guys don’t

smoke and no one in this lodge smokes

so I am wondering who gave you the

weed that is pushing you like this,”

Shape asked.

“Ask her o,” James said. Me, I was just

looking, how can someone be so

mouthed. She hadn’t even been up to 3

weeks around and she’s already sweet

on everybody, even Willie that she just

met. A very naughty side of me saw in

a vision, a 3some involving me and

James hovering over her head like the

holy spirit.

“Is she that your cousin?” Willie asked

shape and she nodded.

“She is fine shaa,” he murdered and

scratched his side burns. James

coughed. Chinaza charged up.

“See Willie, something is bordering us

here,” she said and Willie turned to her.

“What is bothering our wife?”

“We are hungry,” she replied, waving at

all of us. We nodded. Willie was willing

to impress and in no time, My door was

closed and we were on our way out, like

an extended family. Each to his

company. Chinaza was willing to show

everyone around that her pregnancy

was mine. James and Chinecherem,

well, Shape ensured he kept an

accurate 9 inches distance from each

other but that didn’t stop my niggar

from massaging her booty from time to

time.

We ended up at a restaurant. and we

made merry, the boys drank and got

drunk and the girls accumulated bills on

Willie’s head but that money for his

graduation tuxedo seemed not be

finishing. Shape took a sip of Willie’s

drink and let her tongue loose.

She revealed in her drunken state, some

things that was between her and Naza.

Apparently, she had asked Naza to

come and keep an eye on us and her

cousin. She trusted James a bit, it was

with me that her suspicions lay.

Obviously I needed to work on my

reputation. Even shape is hiding her

sister from me. Hmmmm.

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Life of a fucker. Episode 50.
Life of a fucker. Episode 52.

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