It will be very silly of anybody to think
that I actually bleeped shape that night,
including me because I actually wanted
to, shaa I didn’t. I wasn’t that gullible.
So it seemed Willie and Shape are
actually becoming an item. At a time,
Willie spent more time in my lodge than
he did at his school. With Chinaza
gone, there was space in my room for
them. In the end, I realized that trying to
Bleep Shape was an idea dead on
arrival. Like I said, I can share anything
with Willie but not a pussy. And
besides even among thieves, there is
So I started realizing that Chinaza’s
excesses were just becoming
excessive. Imagine she never allowed
me to shook before going back to
school and shape had no available
explanation for that behavior. Even
James was confused.
I even thought about the worst, maybe
someone was spicing her up and she
decide not to get it from me. Eh, noo,
Naza has a clean sheet to the best of
my knowledge. But then, I decided I
needed to be very sure.
I dropped into her lodge that day like a
sting operation. It was on a Saturday
and everyone was home. I sneaked up
to her room and sneaked inside. She
just lay on her bed sleeping. I watched
her in silence for sometime before I sat
beside her on the bed. She was
sleeping with her nightie on and her
skin radiated all over the room.
She jerked when she saw my face like I
was one of those things someone
would see in an evil nightmare. She
relaxed when she realized I wasn’t a
ghost and hugged me, rubbing her big
belly against mine.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming,”
she said and wiped her face.
“I was hoping to catch your new
“Didn’t you see him outside?” she asked
“My new boyfriend.”
“Yea, I saw one slowpoke outside, was
he the one?”
She laughed and dropped her head and
mass of sweet smelling hair on my
shoulder. I held her and slowly lay on
the bed while she laid her head on my
“I only do upgrades, I can’t jump from
one slowpoke to another, its not okay
for my health.”
I only laughed because by the time I
realized she was indirectly calling me
an slowpoke, the topic was already
“Chinaza,” I called softly and she
moaned a sexy answer.
“How much do you love me?” I asked
after a brief pause.
“I am keeping your baby and you are
still asking me that question.”
“I just want to be sure.”
“Well calculate it yourself,” she replied.
“Well, like this. You are broke, you lie,
you cheat and you irritate me
sometimes and I am still with you.”
I smiled and pinched her ass. Normally
she likes it but would rather not admit,
she would often say it made her look
“So 80%?” I asked. She raised her head
and dropped me a surprise kiss on my
lips. The kiss was a deep one because
she actually closed her eyes in the
“100% baby,” she whispered and I felt
like I was just starting to date her.
“So why are you keeping your body
away from me?” I asked.
“I know you will bring that up.”
“Well because I am tired of feeling like
you love my body more than you love
“That’s not true, I love you before any
“Well, try and prove it.”
“How do I prove it?”
“Neche I am pregnant,” she said and
raised her head to look at me.
What else could I possibly answer?
“Have you ever asked me how the baby
is turning, if he is biting me or kicking
Yea, that’s true, I never asked, I didn’t
even know all those things mattered.
“Did you even ask how long I have
My spiritual eyes bulged. I can’t even
say how many months old the
“Do you remember that is something
called Antenatal? Or ask me if I go to
the hospital for check up?”
I was just moping and counting the
number of lines on her ceiling fan.
“All you know is that sex is good for
pregnant women, that is all you talk
She was speaking slowly but anyone
that knew her could tell she was angry.
I didn’t even know what to say.
Apparently there was more to
pregnancy than just shooting it in there.
She got from my body and faced the
wall. I dropped my hand on her waist
and gently massaged her.
“Naza I’m really sorry, I didn’t realize
that all these things mattered.”
“How will you know, all you know is
yourself and what you want, just leave
me and go.”
She was serious.
I begged and begged and begged. A
small something became a big
something. She wouldn’t talk to me and
I too was getting angry. I got up and
walked outside, making up my mind to
leave from there. I was going to go if
this girl hadn’t walked up to me. She
had that thing that makes me drool over
them girls. I was just outside the gate
and she was passing by, jingling her
fine assets in a handless grey gown
that the middle stuck to the parting of
her fine ass like a g-string.
I needed something to cheer me up and
I found one. Maybe she will take me to
her lodge and make me happy. I called
her and she wasn’t the snubby type.
She came and I told her the story of
how I was lost and looking for a lodge I
was standing at it’s gate.
She pointed behind me and waited like
she knew I also wanted to take her
number. Well it was easy.
As I was typing the last digit of her
mobile number. Someone snatched the
phone from my hand, I turned with a
loaded slap in my right hand only to
meet Naza standing there. Well she
deleted the number and dragged me
You don’t want to know what happened
in there but I enjoyed every bit of it.
We all should Bleep a pregnant woman
once in a while.