Wo!, what a beautiful Sunday morning, the sun outside was blazingly stunning. A shinny day indeed. I’d just finished eating breakfast(eba and mama Ada’s Egusi soup) with my dad. The memories of yesterday still fresh in my mind. I kept grinning on every flashback (especially the one concerning you know who).
I had called her earlier in the morning (after borrowing 200naira from Mtn). “Hello, who’s this?”, she answered with that cute voice (too much juice, too much sauce, the girl balm die). “Hey there, Ijeoma, it’s me Ifeanyi, the guy you met yesterday at the JAMB exam centre”. “Oh, Ify, how is u”, she said. “I is fine oh”, I replied with the usual.
I spent almost 10 minutes talking enjoyably on the phone with Ijeoma until Mtn people spoil show for me. They signalled me that I had “one minute remaining”. E pain me eh. I quickly ended the call after telling her I had an errand to run.
“Ify what’s wrong with you, you’ve been smiling to yourself since”, my dad’s voice brought me back to the present. “Em, it’s nothing dad, am just happy”, I said. I had earlier told him about how well my exam went. “Hmmmm, are you sure it’s only because of your exam, this is so unlike you”, he said again (make this man still leave me to smile my smile naaa…..). “Yes dad, am in love with the feeling of exam success that’s all, I just can’t help it”. (story for the gods, the gods oh: in Olamide’s voice).
“So when are we expecting your result”, he said again in his usual correct English style. He hardly speak pidgin sef, shuuoo. “Oh, that’s what I don’t know but Jamb people said it might be out 24hrs after, but you know this is 9ja, I don’t think that would be possible (and sure, it wasn’t). “OK then”, he said and went into his room.
I stepped outta the house to go visit Prosper, I had earlier taken permission from my father. When I got there, I met Prosper’s grandma outside, pounding yam(o boy!, the woman strong oh, at this age). Dry bone shall rise again. Why that my lazy mumu friend nor fit help him grandmama dey work sef. Shuoo.
I greeted her and went inside, only for me to see him playing PES 2017 in his play station(ps2) with another of his dummy headed friend called Uche. The guy is almost like Prosper in every aspect of life, very playful and unserious with his life. I disliked him and I know he felt the same towards me(as if we are even dragging best friend sef).
Make I gist una about the guy small. This Uche so eh, his “Village people” have tied his destiny to a Palm tree. He own case even worst pass prosper own. He has been writing JAMB for the pass 5 years, this year go make am 6. I heard that even when he didn’t write last year, JAMB still sent him a message saying that he failed(village people on point). That’s to show how popular he was to them, dey don already recognize am as their yearly customer wey dey dash them 5k. His own exam was scheduled for Tuesday. Instead of him to use his remaining short time to study, he’s here playing games with Prosper. Anyway, birds of the same feathers flock together.
“Guy, how u dey na, I nor con see you again yesterday, you nor fit even wait for me sef, which kind friend you be sef. Nna eh, I dey vex for you oh”, said Prosper immediately I worked in. “Guy cool down, my dad called me to come help him at the factory”, I lied. I seriously can’t tell him that a girl made me forget him naaa…..
“Eh, na true, you dey help your papa well well”, Uche chipped in ironically. What is this one saying. He always picked on me at every slight opportunity. I always ignored him anyway. “So guy, how your JAMB exam questions be yesterday na and wetin make you nor quick come”, I said hitting Prosper’s right arm which made him unbalanced a little.
“Shuoo Ifeaz, which kind thing be that naa, you nor see say I dey play game, shuoo, nawa for you oh, Uche for don score me just na”, Prosper fired at me. I was glad he’s back to his old self and not the punny I saw yesterday.
“Nor mind am, he see us dey do better thing(chaii) here, him dey ask of JAMB question. Who JAMB epp? Dey don baff, shuoo, oga Ifeanyi they go look you well oh”, Uche said. Chaii, I don believe well now say the guy get spiritual problem. E go take the special grace of God to dust the stupidity Comot for him brain.
I nor kukuma answer am sha. I’m a peace loving person. I know its not their fault(9ja guys can testify of how their brains usually functions when dem dey play PS). “So em Prosper you get sub for your phone, abeg gimme I wan enter my facebook”, I said. “No wahala, check my grandmama room, I dey charge am for there”, he said, not taking his eyes from the TV.
“Borrow borrow makes me perfect, you nor go do get your own, na you poor pass sef”, Uche said blatantly then the both of them laughed. Someday, am going to punch out the teeths of that guy. I ignored as usual and stood up to get the Android phone which Prosper had even stolen(chaii).
I opened my facebook account for the first time in almost 2 months(I had bound myself from social media due to my intensive studying for the exam, I didn’t want any distractions). Well, it’s all over now because am no longer a JAMB candidate but already an Imsu undergraduate (world people go say I don dey show myself).
I quickly left all my JAMB updates group in which I had been a member and proceeded to Imsu aspirants group and started viewing their posts. I hoped to make friends with fellow aspirants there. Later on I went to my favorite comedy pages(Correct bro, Correct bae, African bro, Sarcasm, Troll football, etc) to laugh my ribs out. I hardly chat with anyone on facebook sef, only go from pages to pages, groups to groups and all that.
Then I remembered that Ijeoma had told me her facebook username, I quickly searched for her account and sent her a friend request. I then viewed her profile and pics(mehn!, see fine girl, my future school mate)………….
I left Prosper’s house in the evening. I gat to prepare early for work tomorrow. I work as a labourer in a cement factory from Monday to Thursdays. The pay isn’t that good so I do other hard manual jobs like truck pushing on weekends. I don’t use my money for myself, everything thing I earn I normally give to my dad to support him. He’s had huge depts for years now and we’ve been paying slowly with the little we earn(thank God for my scholarship oh, there would have been no hope for my education)……….
Two days later, Tuesday 16th of May, I received a call from Prosper saying that the first batch JAMB results for Saturday candidates just came out and I should meet him at the cyber cafe where we have been doing all our JAMB related stuff. See the way my heart just started pounding immediately. Finally, it’s out, after they kept us waiting for 3 days.
Even now, as am trekking to the cyber cafe, I can feel my heart beating faster, my temperature rising. I knew I wrote well but why am I feeling so scared.