“Type in your registration number”, that sentence just make “Gbasa” for my ear, na gbam, Infact “Gbosa”. E just sound like gunshot. Finally, we were going to start. I’ve been sitting in idleness(doing nothing) for about 20 minutes now. That’s because other candidates were still doing their thumb-printing outside, and the exam won’t start until everyone is seated. I looked towards seat no.70, damn!, it was still empty, that was Prosper’s seat no. I thought of calling him but then I remembered I had left my old Nokia touch phone at home and besides, we weren’t allowed to use phone inside the exam hall.
“I repeat, type in your registration number”, the senior JAMB official or invigilator shouted again in such a terrible husky manner. This man nor know say he dey put fear for people body with he voice, abi na my “village people” send am come. Within seconds, my hands started shaking(una know that kind thing na). I managed to pull my folded E-reg slip from my pocket, opened it and looked at the reg no(nor be say I never cram am before but I wan just dey sure say na my own).
“75293538BC”, I typed it and clicked enter, nervously. I checked the time given and displayed on the screen, just 1hrs45mins. Hmmmmm, see as my heart just dey pound. Yes!, I was going to start with Use of English, the simplest one to me. I quickly clicked on it. Comprehension first, no problem. I started reading the passage.
“Ex, ex, excuse me, abeg”, someone said while tapping my left arm. It was the guy in seat no.56. A richly dressed guy, wearing studs in his ears, a Gucci watch in his left wrist with an hairstyle that looks like Phyno’s(that long one he was carrying before). He wore a fine T-shirt with the inscription “Pepper dem gang”. He was about my age but I fine pass am. Oooooooh, wetin this one want naa, he wan put me for trouble, abi he nor hear when they say no talking.
I peered around and miraculously, no official was close-by. “Yes, what is it”, I replied vexatiously. “Pls, I can’t type in the capital letters of my reg number, it’s only bringing out small letters”, he said. Chaii!, e pain me for the boy. Just imagine, all this boys of nowadays, they’ll go around forming slay king and pepper dem gang. They go dey raise shoulder anyhow as if they be one thing, see this one naa, he nor even know how to write capital letters with a keyboard. The thing weak me oh.
I quickly peered around again to make sure none of the JAMB officials would see me. All coast cleared, I stretched my hands towards his keyboard and pressed cap lock(arrow button). “Type it now”, I said. He quickly obliged and typed in the two capital letters of his reg number. He gave me a thumbs up afterwards, I just ignored(I don already dey vex).
I went back to reading my comprehension. Like seriously, the English balm die. Very simple. I was just smiling all through. Even the novel text “In-dependence” questions were simple even though I didn’t really read the book(I nor too like the story so I just read the summary). I proceeded to Economics, my best subject(that’s what I wanna study in school). Mehn, everything was legit, I was 100 percent sure of most of my answers. I finished Economics under 20 minutes. So much for studying past questions and answers because most of the questions I saw, I had also seen them before while studying. I clicked on the Government questions to continue my exam.
Just then, the entire hall was distracted with the shouts of a guy. O gosh, remind me who he is again. Oh yea, it was my ever annoying best friend, Prosper. I had quickly recognized his voice. I checked the time on my screen, just 50 minutes(and Prosper was even a science student, how he wan take do plenty physics, chemistry and maths calculation for this short time) to go before the invigilators would end everyone’s exam. Chaii!, Prosper nor go kill person.
“Pls let me in sir, I swear, am coming from a far distance(him wey dey house dey sleep) that’s why I’m late”, he pleaded. “Young man, leave this place now before I…………
After much pleading and wailing for about 7 minutes, Prosper was allowed in. The guy just matched in like a boss(feeling himself), one would think he hasn’t been the one crying just now. This my friend can act for Africa. Every other candidate seating close-by were just hailing him in one way or the other. Me I just faced my computer screen, even as he walked pass me, I just ignored and pretended like I don’t even know him(I nor want make people know say this kind person na my friend, lol, you can’t blame me). Afterall, who wouldn’t feel ashamed.
30 minutes later, I was done. O boy!, the maths dope die. Surprisingly easy. I still had 20 minutes left on my time, so I just crosschecked a little then I clicked on “end exam”. Ah!, I felt relieved, I was very happy with myself. Imo state university(Imsu), here I come. My “village people” had failed to degrade me(all their jazz in vein). The exam centre was great, no complaints from anybody about computer switching off(my previous fears). The system was awesome and it responded well. Everything just went smoothly. What can I say, it was all God’s doing.
Mehn!, so na this one be the jamb wey people dey fear so. Their father!. This simple thing nai some people dey fail every year. Speaking of failures, I looked towards the direction of my friend, Prosper. “Blood”, I exclaimed. Una need to see the way this guy dey sweat like Christmas goat, looking repulsive. His hands were shaking like mine did earlier, he doesn’t even have much time now. I just shook my head in pity.
“All candidates through with their exam should go outside, now”, said the senior JAMB official in his usual disturbing manner. I quickly stood up to leave, the pepper dem gang boy, who I had assisted earlier was still writing(shame). We were asked to stand in a single file so we could thumb-print again before leaving. After that, I went to stand under the mango tree close to the Ict building, waiting for Prosper.
“Hi, excuse me”, I heard a girl’s voice from behind. I turned to look at her. “You dropped this”, she said handing me my pen. I took it from her, “Thanks”, I replied, staring at her. She looked so lovely in a simple black dress. But this girl fine oh, with not even a single make up, chocolate skinned just like me, dimples in her cheeks, tall and slender, her braids finely plaited, she con get fine voice join am. What an angel, I thought.
“Umm, I saw what you did for that guy who was sitting close to you, you really took the risk, that’s so kind of you”, she continued. “Gee, sure, I love helping people(as if), it was really nothing”, I said while scratching my head. I was starting to feel uncomfortable, I seriously don’t have much experience in talking to girls.