I had opened my eyes to that familiar aroma that pricked into my nose, wow…I was shocked to see I was in a cage. I looked around to realize I was inside a cage, an iron cage with a bowl inside of it, a stench of urine and dog poo lingered around. The bowl and cage both looked familiar. Quickly, I stood up to my foot but more shocked to see I was standing on all four, I was surprised I felt comfortable on them. I looked out through the cage and saw a magnificent building ahead of it. The building was familiar, likewise everything around it. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME? I tried to remember anything, anything at all that had led me into the cage. It was blank, nothing could be recollected. Suddenly, an aromatic smell hit my nostril so hard that it caused a rumbling effect down my stomach. Every senses of mine had strangely heightened that I could hear sharply as the waves bounces in the air, every faint sound from afar and every images somehow drifted to my sight.
OH! THE SMELL…WHERE IS IT COMING FROM? I pointed my nose around directions and quickly tracked it location. I pushed open the cage with my head and off I went to go hunt down the source to that aroma. As I was tapping along behind the building, I felt certain that I had been there before countless of time but I don’t know when and how, I GUESS IT’S DIJA VU. Just around the corner, I halted as I saw two ladies talking, both dressed in a purple colored apron while they stood relaxed like they had all the time in the world. They looked familiar at first but then it struck me, I KNOW THESE LADIES, THAT FAT ONE IS MARY AND THE SKINNY ONE IS ESTHER. BUT WHAT SOUGHT OF DISCUSSION COULD THESE LADIES BE SO ENGROSSED ABOUT THAT THEY STILL HADN’T SEEN ME STARING UP NEXT TO THEM.
I had expected they scramble at the sight of me coming even from afar to their duties, but yet they kept on with their talk even though I noticed Esther looking down at me. MY GOODNESS! I THOUGHT I HAD WARNED THIS LADIES AGAINST THE USE OF PIDGIN ENGLISH AROUND ME AND YET THEY CONTINUE. “Abeg, shey you don give dis thing food?” Esther asked Mary who then also stared down at me. “I neva give am food” Mary replied as she shook her head slowly. “Why naa? Esther inquired in fright as she pushed away from me so swiftly, “Shey you want make dis thing bite me? Abeg go give am food” “when all the visitors wey dey inside neva chop, shey na dis useless dog go kon eat? Forget the dog make we continue our gist” she swung one of her legs towards me in an attempt to wave me off her presence but I stood there, staring at her with my rumbling stomach, I needed to eat, I just have to eat jollof-rice. “See dis thing o, just look at this stupid dog, see as e even stand there dey look me like human being” Mary continued as she pointed a finger at me “No be your fault, because you too don dey chop human food, now you don dey behave like human being abi?” she frowned suddenly at me then pulled one of her ear “Bruno, listen make I tell you something, now wey oga don die, no more human food for you, no more bread and tea, no more jollof-rice, no more fried-rice with chicken.
As from now on, na bone and left over food you go dey chop, shey you hear?” I saw Esther burst into laughter behind Mary, “Mary I swear, you sef don kolo” she continued amidst laughter “You don craze patapata. See as you stand dey talk to the dog like sey una be mate, I swear you don madt!” she was laughing until she slowly turned her face down at me to give those pitiful gaze “Ehyah! See as the thing dey look, e be like sey e no even chop yesterday” “I no even get time yesterday to dey feed any useless dog. I too dey busy for dat funeral activity yesterday” I stood there wondering what this two were still talking about. WHAT FUNERAL? WHO DIED?I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE RUBBISH TALK AT THE MOMENT, ALL I WANT NOW IS A TASTE FROM THAT AROMATIC JOLLOF-RICE. “But I saw one food on that cupboard beside the gas-cooker, na who get am?” Esther inquired. I saw Mary frown defensively before she replied “Na me get am, abeg no go near that food o, dat na the food wey I wan use break my fasting dis evening” Esther looked surprised just like I had expected “So you sef dey fast” she sounded sarcastic. “So na wetin dat one kon mean? Sey I no fit fast abi?” Mary pulled a deadly frown which mad me got scared for Esther. “Nooo!” Esther quickly denied even though I knew what she meant. “That was not what I meant o, I was just wondering how you are going to cope without food for hours, you know you’ve never been on diet?’ Mary’s face eased up with a smile to it “I am fasting because I want God to make me look sexy like Tiwa”.
“Ernn! Na which Tiwa?” Esther exclaimed “Tiwa Savage…the one wey dey sing” I saw Mary rolling her eyes carelessly as she fantasized. OH MY GOODNESS! I quickly pushed back two dog-steps backward. I had thought this girl was foolish but now I see she is also delusional…JUST LOOK AT WHO WANTS TO BE LIKE TIWA SAVAGE, YOU THIS OROBO. I BET YOU, NO PRAYER AND FASTING CAN MAKE THIS FOOL GO SKINNY WITH THE LOADS OF FLESH RESTING UPON HER. Then again I saw Esther laughing her tooth out while she held her tummy. ESTHER PLEASE SAY SOMETHING, TELL HER THE TRUTH AND SHAME THE DEVIL. “Mary, you can kill person” she was still laughing “So you mean you want to be like Tiwa Savage abi?” “Yes, so why you kon dey laugh?” I saw Mary looked vexed and so was in line of her tone.I could see she was about to pounce on the small statured-skinny-not too sexy-light skinned lady in front of her.
OH MY GOD, RUN…ESTHER RUN!! I screamed those words of warning inside my head. “But you can give small part of the food to the dog so that God will quickly answer your prayers” YES! YES!! Instinctively, my ears flapped upwards, my mouth began to droll and I felt something swindling behind me, I turned to look, I was shocked to see it was a tail, my tail. BUT HOW HAD IT COME TO THIS? HOW HAD I BECOME THIS THING? “Never!” Mary shouted, it had jolted me out of my sober thought. She continued “I will never give part of my food to a dog, I hear it brings bad luck”. Mary frowned like an ugly vampire. ESTHER PLEASE, HELP PREACH TO HER, PERSUADE HER FOR ME, LET HER KNOW I HAVE TO EAT SOMETHING, I AM RAVISHING TO DEATH, I NEED JOLLOF-RICE RIGHT AWAY!!!” As if she heard my plea, Esther backed me up on it “Please, consider the dog, please consider the fact it never ate yesterday” I heard her plead to Mary in a soft tone. GOD BLESS YOU FOR ME ESTHER. I was sooo happy to see Mary looking considerately at me, It was obvious Esther’s word had finally made it into her wicked heart. “Okay, I don hear you madam good Samaritan” Mary said as she was making her way into the building. Esther stood there in akimbo while staring down at me like a poor miserable thing.
ONES AGAIN, GOD BLESS YOU ESTHER. I NEVER KNOW YOU ARE THIS GOOD HEARTED. “Bruno Bruno!! See as you dey dance like sey you know wetin she don go bring come” Esther said while smiling down at me. AM I DANCING? WAIT, AM I REALLY DANCING? I quickly checked myself to confirm, my paws were tapping repulsively, I felt the tail swindling without my permission and yes, I was dancing if that’s it. I wish to tell her those were my new Jollof-rice moves but rather, I barked at her. I tried to tell her to go hasten that fool before I collapse. Esther withdrew far away from me, I could see her body tremble. “You dey mad? See dis one wey I dey fight for”. She then turned towards the door Mary went through and called her attention to my erratic behavior. Mary came out all brimming with smile as she held to a bowl. WOW! My eyes brightened up as I gave more of my jollof-rice moves for free with my tongue wagging out uncontrollably. “Esther, this dog is very lucky o!” Mary said as she moved closer with the bowl, “Do you know I almost forgot Bruno had jollof-rice inside the fridge?” JUST PUT IT DOWN AND FORGET THE STORY, I AM DYING ALREADY…YOU FOOL.